No Place Like Home

The old guy got it wrong. If there's something I can be sure of, it's that figuring out when the rapture is going to happen can not require math. In fact, all those people in California had it wrong, too. You don't analyze the Bible to figure out when God's going to call all the worthy people to His heavenly banquet, you just wait for an invitation. Mine came in the mail. The California dude missed it by a few weeks. I won't give out the exact date. I mean, really, if you didn't get your own invitation, it's not my fault.

I was honestly surprised to learn that I was one of the worthy ones. Looking back at my life, I didn't think I'd done anything that special; however, the letter I received left no room for doubt. It was impressive. It was written on real vellum for starters, and the capital letters were decorated with colored inks and gold leaf. I suspect God had plenty of medieval monks in heaven who needed to be kept busy. It read as follows: (...though more beautifully. I don't have medieval monk font on my computer.)

You are cordially invited

to be a permanent guest at God's Banquet

if you accept this invitation,

you will be expected to be ready

at exactly 10 am today.

An angel will be sent to escort you to your new abode.

 Congratulations on being one of the worthy!

It was two minutes to ten and I had two minutes to decide what I was going to do. To my great relief, all of my family had received invitations, even our grandson. We gathered together in the kitchen to discuss the matter. All important conversations happen in the kitchen. We had barely begun, however, when our escort appeared, also in the kitchen. It was getting crowded. The angel seemed disappointed that we were not more impressed with his entrance. We greeted him politely and invited him to join in our discussion. Nothing had been decided yet, we told him. The angel stood with his wings spread across the room, bumping into the cabinets on either side. My son started by asking a question.

“So, what does this mean for the earth?” He posed the question for anyone to answer, but he was looking at the angel.

“THERE WILL BE PLAGUES AND EARTHQUAKES AND THE EARTH WILL FALL INTO A FIERY CHAOS,” the angel intoned.

“That's nothing new,” said my husband cynically. He'd just read the op/ed page in the newspaper.

“YOU ARE AMONG THE WORTHY. YOU CAN ESCAPE ALL THIS AND LIVE IN ETERNAL BLISS IN GOD'S HEAVENLY KINGDOM.” The angel looked confused.  He wasn't used to people questioning him.

My other son asked, “If all the worthy people are taken from the earth, what will happen to the people here?”

“THEY WILL SUFFER AND DIE. THE WORLD WILL COME TO AN END.” The angel reached out his arms in a grand gesture. I think he was trying to look powerful. Our kitchen is small. We have learned not to use grand gestures in our kitchen. Our daughter fished the broken bits out of the sink from the dinner glasses that had been accidentally knocked over, and threw them in the trash. The angel looked sheepish, “sorry,” he said, in a small voice.

It was my daughter-in-law's turn, “I don't know. I think I'd feel selfish if I'd choose to leave the earth just when people need the most help.”

“BUT IF YOU STAY, YOU WILL SUFFER WITH THEM AND DIE ANYWAY.” The angel was losing his momentum.

“Ah yes,” said our daughter, “that's true, but at least then we'd feel useful.”

“BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE THE GLORY OF GOD?”

There was a yell from the floor. Our grandson had finished rearranging the pots and pans in the cupboard and began talking to the angel. Obviously the angel understood the little guy's baby talk and knew that he was saying, “I don't know about the rest of you, but I just got here. I'm not the least bit ready to leave yet. Didn't God create this place? Isn't the earth part of God's glory?” He blew a raspberry in the direction of the angel and went back to the pots and pans.

The angel looked around to each of us in turn. “You're all going to stay?” The angel was sounding almost normal now.

We all looked at each other and smiled. With another grandchild arriving in August, the garden growing, and summer vacation just about to start, where else would we rather be?

“YES!” We all replied, in unison.

“I guess that's that, then. I'll have to tell the Almighty about this.”

Our grandson looked at the angel again and said, in his own baby language, “Don't bother. God already knows and says it's okay. God says for you to go back home.”

The angel said goodbye and shook our hands. We thanked him for coming to discuss things with us. Then he left in a puff of smoke. My husband went back out into the garden. My son and daughter-in-law started making a salad for dinner. My daughter finished her homework. My other son went out to the studio to continue working on his marionette. Our grandson took all the plastic containers out of the cabinet and exchanged them for the pots and pans.... and I took a nap.

There's no place like home.

The Truck - or How to Write a Bestseller

When I started to take my writing seriously, our son cleaned up his old laptop computer for me to use. This way, I could still write when our daughter was doing her homework on the family computer. The old laptop was perfect. All I really needed to use was the word processor and fortunately, that was one program that still worked.

There were a few challenges. The top of the laptop, namely the screen, was attached to the bottom of the laptop, ie: the keyboard, by two wires. Setting it up required having something large and heavy right behind the computer so the screen wouldn't fall over. I eventually solved this problem with lots of duct tape and a couple of large “L” brackets, putting one leg of each bracket under the keyboard so that the screen could rest against the other leg. True, the brackets were marring our wood table, but this was solved quickly by putting a towel under everything. It was a ritual I repeated several times each day.

The biggest advantage to using this computer is that I couldn't be distracted by the internet or other fun ways to procrastinate. Nothing else worked. The disadvantage to this computer was that, even after I set it up, it took another five to ten minutes to warm up enough so I could open the program. I was never quite sure that it was going to come on. Needless to say, I saved everything to my flash drive. Not having the internet helped keep me from getting distracted, however, there were times when I needed to research my topic and this would entail running over to the other side of the house, kicking our daughter off the computer for a few minutes, looking frantically for the information I needed so I could let her back on again, and then going back to the dining room to type some more.

It was okay. I could handle it. In fact, there's some precedent to using old beat up writing equipment in coming out with a best seller. J. K. Rowling typed the entire manuscript for the first Harry Potter book on a manual typewriter and look how well that one did.

I was on a roll with my story, too. One night I sat for forty-five minutes working when my husband came in to ask how it was going. I replied that it was going very well, thank you. He looked over my shoulder to see what I had written. “The truck. That's what you've written?” I could tell he was impressed.

Maybe he thought I could do better if I had a computer that wasn't held together by duct tape. The possibility must have occurred to him because a few days later, he gave me an early anniversary gift. It was, and still is, a little Toshiba notebook computer. I'm typing on it now. It's amazing! In next to no time, I was not only able to write, I was also able to access the internet! Now I could write, do my research, check my email, play hangman, and look up new recipes for dinner!

The last one is a nice benefit that the whole family enjoys. My cooking has improved greatly since I can set up my tiny computer on the kitchen counter. The other night we had cheese stuffed hamburgers. Tonight we had Curried Chicken Penne with Fresh Mango Chutney. This is great except my family is starting to expect good meals. With the old laptop, I would get into my writing and fail to realize that it was time for dinner. We had lots of spaghetti, chili, and tacos. No one complained.

I'm not complaining, either. Things are so much better now. If I get stuck with my writing, I can always play a game of hangman, or two, or three. Our daughter is undisturbed in her homework. My writing is coming along quite well. Having a more efficient computer may have knocked me out of running for the next bestseller, however, I am soldiering on. This afternoon I sat writing for nearly an hour. When my husband came out, he looked over my shoulder and read what I had written. I had gotten much farther. He read, “The truck is green.”

He's not complaining, though. He's looking forward to dinner.

Setting Goals

Several things occurred to me this week. First of all, I realized that it's been over four years since I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Then I remembered, that is to say, I was reminded that April is Parkinson's awareness month. After that, it dawned on me that April is almost over. I think that's okay because I'm still very much aware of my Parkinson's disease.

There's more, though. When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson's, I had one major goal. That was simply to learn to enjoy life on this new path that I've been given. I didn't have a lot of other goals at that time. I was busy being totally overwhelmed by all the changes in my life and in our life as a family. Lots of things changed. I had to leave my job which I dearly, dearly loved. I couldn't take walks anymore. I couldn't make it through the day without two or three naps. I was alternately very UP and then, without warning, I would be down in the dumps for hours or days. My poor husband lived through all this and, I'm sure, often wondered who this crazy woman was and what did she do with his wife. Somehow or other, he made it through. I'm glad, 'cause I kinda like having him around.

I didn't feel depressed. All in all, I was and am happy with my life. A lot of the ups and downs were due more to the challenge of getting the medication balanced. That's huge. I did a lot of things during this adjustment time and I learned a lot about how to laugh at myself and appreciate the humor in the daily challenges of Parkinson's and Dystonia.

What I didn't do was come up with serious goals for myself. True, I did learn to swear. I also started writing and developing my art work. I tell people that I'm a freelance writer and artist; “free” as in unpaid. Beyond just the therapeutic value, I didn't set any goals for my art or my writing. I wasn't looking at creating a business or writing a best seller. I was living in the moment. Wow. That's something I had to learn how to do. It was the first time in my life I had been able to let go of the baggage (or at least much of it) that I had carried around for so long. In this way, my diagnosis of PD was incredibly freeing. I stopped worrying about little things.

I was living in the moment. That's a wonderful place to be sometimes. It's nice to know I can go into that space when I need to rest up a little. It's not a place to stay all the time. I need to look back and look ahead, too. It's time to see where I've been and where I want to go. It's time to set some goals.

My first goal is to retrain myself to walk again. I wouldn't have thought this was possible even two months ago, but I've started in a physical therapy treadmill walking study. This study is just for us folks with PD. I've been walking for 30 minutes, twice a week, for four weeks now. I have two more weeks to go with the study. My speed has increased, my dystonia doesn't kick in nearly as much, and my arms have started swinging again. I don't even have to consciously think about it. My therapist, Barbara, has me walking around the neighborhood, too; at least around the block. I'm up to walking half a mile in 14 minutes. That's down from walking a quarter of a mile in 17 minutes. The first step in meeting my goal will be to continue the treadmill walking twice a week, even after the study ends. A mini goal will be to walk three quarters of a mile, or one lap of the walk-a-thon, before I need to use my walker.

 Yesterday, I went to the Vocational Rehabilitation office to see if they can help me figure out a way to go back to work. This is my second goal. I'm not sure what that look like. Regular job hours would be a challenge for me. A better choice would be to turn my art work into a business. I could be official! The Vocational Rehab folks would support me through this and help me learn the ins and outs of being a real business.

My third goal is to finish writing a novel that I started a few months ago. The goal doesn't insist that it be a New York Times best seller, nor does it have to be made into a movie that wins an academy award. I just want to finish it. I've never written a novel before and have no idea whether anyone but myself will be at all interested in what I write. With any luck, it'll be just good enough that I'll still be interested in it when it's done. The process had taught me a lot and I have met a lot of wonderful people along the way.

My last goal is to continue learning how to laugh at myself and find the humor in my everyday challenges. Oddly enough, as I start looking at where I've been and where I'm going, suddenly things can seem overwhelming again. My self confidence has plummeted in the last few weeks. Find the balance, that's what I need to do. Make my goals but be flexible. Live in the moment but don't forget where I've been. I'm incredibly lucky! That I know. I've got a wonderful family and amazing friends. I can't depend on them for my self confidence, however. That's up to me.

Maybe I should shoot for that academy award. If I accomplish my other goals, at least I won't trip as I walk up to accept it.

Book Review - Take Charge of Parkinson’s Disease: Dynamic Lifestyle Changes to Put You in the Driver’s Seat

When I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, the one thing I did not do was read about it.  Quite honestly, I didn’t want to know what the future might hold for me.  At this point, five years later, I can say I’ve read two books about Parkinson’s.  One is Michael J. Fox’s book, Lucky Man, a book which helped me to find my balance after my diagnosis.  The other one is a book I’ve just recently read.  It is Anne Cutter Mikkelsen’s new book, Take Charge of Parkinson’s Disease:  Dynamic Lifestyle Changes to Put You in the Driver’s Seat.   

I was intrigued by this book when I first learned about it.  What attracted me initially was the focus on exercise and diet.  I’m a big believer in exercise for Parkinson’s and I want to learn more about diet changes that might be helpful.  I’m still not planning on doing a lot of reading up on PD, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a peek at this one.  I’m glad I did.  I also loaned it to Paul Zeiger, my yoga teacher.  He read it, too, and I will include some of his thoughts as well.

Anne’s book is a combination of memoir, cookbook, and information about Parkinson’s disease.  I was initially a bit surprised.  This book wasn't exactly what I was expecting.  I guess with the words "take charge" and "dynamic" in the title, I expected to see a lifestyle change set out very specifically, telling me what to do and how to do it, all with great enthusiasm.  That it wasn’t like this at all, threw me a little.  However, I read on and was pleasantly surprised by the end of Anne's story.  

This is a gentle book, written by a cook whose husband happens to have Parkinson's disease.  The lifestyle changes are shown by their example and not shoved at us.  It's more of a quiet challenge that suggests that we create changes in our lives.  I especially appreciate the recipes and the information about antioxidants and what they do, and the section on spices.   Many of the recipes are simple, too, and use ingredients that I might actually have in my kitchen.  For the recipes and gentle stories alone, this book is worth reading and keeping on hand as a cookbook. 

We had a few minor quibbles.  Anne’s family has available resources that are greater than most of us with PD have.  I am grateful for their sake that they had these resources; it’s just frustrating at times to read about possibilities that aren’t really possible for most of us.  Paul feels the word choice of “Driver’s Seat” in the book’s subtitle is unfortunate, since many of us with PD need to get out of the driver’s seat! 

One of my favorite stories in the book is when Anne’s husband, Mike, is attempting to button his shirt and Anne hears him swearing from the other room.  As one who actually took swearing lessons from a friend after my diagnosis, feeling that this was a skill that was mandatory in my life with PD, I would have loved to hear more stories like this.  A few non-inspirational moments make me more comfortable and more willing to take seriously the lifestyle changes that are suggested.

Minor quibbles aside; this is a good book to add to our home library.  It will have a place of honor in my kitchen. 

Anne's book at Amazon

Yellow Birds for Parkinson's

Another Walk in the Park or Parkour for Parkies

Sometimes the timing is just right.  I am starting another exercise study for people with Parkinson’s disease.  This time, the goal is to learn about treadmill walking and the effect it has on keeping us Parkies folks in shape.  My goal is to learn to walk better.  As I said, the timing is just right.  Just after this study ends, I will be walking in our first ever school walk-a-thon, to help raise money for professional development.  I signed up to walk three whole laps.  Each lap is three quarters of a mile and that adds up to… let me see, that adds up to…

Okay, math has never been my strong area, but I know it must be at least twenty miles.  Dr. Barbara, PT, PhD, Dean and Professor of the School of Physical Therapy at Regis University, said they’d get me in shape.  With all those credentials after her name, I’m willing to believe anything she says. 

The first step was an evaluation of my current walking skills and balance skills.  Of course, they also have to throw in that annoying cognitive element; something called a “mini-mental” exam.  Fortunately, they warned me about it this time.   Who expects intellectual questions from a physical therapy evaluation?  I mean, really.  Where in my life has it been important to know how to count down from one hundred by subtracting sevens? 

Participating in studies is an interesting experience.  It’s much different from any other medical appointments.  First of all, they are happy to see me.  Secondly, they are on time.  I’ve never had to wait for my appointment when I am in a study.  Usually, there is a kind student waiting to escort me directly to the exam room/physical therapy room/lab.  There are often numerous students involved and they treat me as though I am one of their teachers, hanging on my every word and offering me a chair and refreshments if I look the least bit tired.  They know that I am a volunteer and I’m not getting paid to help them out.  I know that I’m getting therapy and not having to pay for it.  It works for everyone.

I did well on the balance part.  Dr. Barbara blames my yoga class for that.  The walking part was interesting.  There was an area taped off on the floor which was to be my walking path.  I was given instructions to walk forward, backward, fast, slow, normal pace, and with my eyes closed.  Each time I walked down the hall, I was timed so they could see just how slow I am.  If all these challenges weren’t enough, before one pass, they put a large cardboard box in my path.  They wanted to watch me get over the obstacle.

Now, lately I’ve become addicted to watching parkour.  Specifically, I’ve been watching “Jump City Seattle”, a program where four teams are competing with a combination of parkour, freerunning, and acrobatics.  Parkour, in its purest form, is the art of moving quickly and efficiently, using the most direct route over and around obstacles, and it’s NOT competitive.  Freerunning includes all those showy moves like doing a triple flip in the air when you jump off of a twenty foot high building onto the concrete below.  I like to watch this for several reasons.  The first reason is because one of our former students, Dylan Baker, is on the show.  The second reason is because I can’t move that well.  It’s amazing to see what the human being is capable of doing.  Thirdly, if I can’t get to sleep at night, watching a Jump City episode is sure to tire me out. 

Of course, if that was MY kid up there, jumping off of buildings and running across narrow steel girders three stories above the street with no safety net, there is no way I could watch. 

Back to the therapy evaluation, I eyed the pathway carefully, sizing up the obstacle.  I briefly considered the possibility of doing a superman flip over the box, ending with a dive roll.  I realized, however, that the goal was efficiency and safety, not showy moves, and I settled for a rather clumsy step over the box instead.  This is called “Parkour for Parkies”.

On Wednesday, I will begin my training on the treadmill.  We’ll see how it goes!  By May 7^th, I should be ready to do my laps for the walk-a-thon.  I have a few donations already.  If anyone feels moved to support my effort, please visit our walk-a-thon page at the Reinhart Family Pledge page.  We hope to meet our goal for fundraising for our teachers.  We’ve also had one friend who is pledging a donation for another cause.  That’s cool, too.  Wherever the donations go, they will encourage me to walk that extra lap.  If I slow down to a crawl and think about quitting, bribes for the benefit of the school should help.  I’m open to other bribes, too, like chocolate.

I’ve decided to go with the true spirit of parkour as well.  I’m going for efficiency, not flash.  I promise I won’t do any flips and I’m not planning on competing against anyone.

I can do this.  I will have had six weeks of training and Dr. Barbara says I’ll be in shape.  I might not even need bribes, either; unless it’s chocolate.  I might even walk a fourth lap for chocolate.

Donations may go to:

The Denver Waldorf School

The Boudha Shack Village

Videos about Parkour and Freerunning

Tempest TV

Team Rogue