Life Coach - Quarterly Report

The corner of the paper was sticking out from under a stack of books. I wouldn't have noticed it, except a burst of energy had prompted me to start my spring cleaning. I pulled it out and unfolded it, so I would know whether or not it could be thrown away. It read as follows:

Life Coach Report 

First Quarter, 2012

Coach: Marshmallow “Mo” Fairy             

 Client: Terri Reinhart

  First Quarter Assessment

Exercise

Goal: 30 minutes of yoga/morning, 30 minutes of walking/day

Assessment: HAH! Client was up early exactly 4 days and those were not consecutive. Client did not do her yoga exercises as agreed upon. She did better with walking but only because her husband insisted she walk with him.

Household

Goal: Declutter, get rid of unnecessary papers, clothes, and other odds and ends. Keep house clean.

Assessment: Client started out well and the amount of unnecessary papers has decreased significantly, the last of the papers have been piled up in the workroom, next to the rather dusty exercise bicycle for the last two months.

Challenge: Client still has the tendency to stop at thrift shops and yard sales.

Nutrition

Goal: Eliminate sugar for 30 days, then keep sugar intake at a minimum, using desserts as payment for Life Coach.

Assessment: Not even worth discussing. Until Client is ready to make a serious change for the better, her Coach will be garnishing her supply of chocolate as payment for services rendered. This is only fair, as the Client has often forgotten to pay her Coach.

Weight

Goal: At or below present weight

Assessment: Achieved. Probably coincidental rather than from diligent work. Must have something to do with involuntary muscle movements.

Health

Goal: Keep Parkinson's medications at a minimum by living healthy lifestyle

Assessment: Client has kept medications to a minimum simply by refusing to increase them. Coach is unsure as to how this will affect Client's health goal.

Personal

Goal: Be consciously grateful for all that life brings, whether blessings or challenges.

Assessment: My Client must assess this one on her own. She appears happy, but she might be hitting the Bailey's.

Summary: Though my client has made some positive steps toward meeting her goals, she still has a long ways to go. 

Recommendations: Client should reassess her goals and rewrite them, if the original goals were unrealistic. Client should not forget to pay her Coach. Paying in advance will show the Life Coach that her Client is serious about her work. Giving her Coach a raise in pay would also be beneficial.  

I put the paper down. I had read enough.  

 “MO!” I called, “GET OVER HERE NOW!” 

I hadn't seen Mo, my Opinion Fairy and Life Coach, for some time. There had been a lot happening in our lives, and I figured Mo had gotten bored with me. I hadn't worried; until now. I called two or three times before there was a response. Then I heard a fluttering of wings. “Odd,” I thought, “Mo's usually so quiet. I've never heard her wings flutter.” Perhaps it wasn't the fairy after all, but a small bird?

No. It was Mo. She seemed to be having trouble staying airborn for very long. When she came into close range, the reason became obvious. I think she had been garnishing my chocolate a little too freely.

I couldn't help myself. I started to giggle. “I think I'll start calling you Marshmallow.”

Mo snorted. 

I can't wait to hear this story! 

(….to be continued)

Life Coach

She was back. Sitting on my computer in a lotus position, arms gently outstretched, palms turned upward on her knees, the Opinion Fairy looked to be meditating. Her eyes were closed. I don't think she knew I was there until I started typing. She opened up one eye briefly, pretending not to notice me. For the next few minutes I left her alone and went on with my work. After that, I'm afraid I succumbed to temptation.

Me: “Hey, Opinion Fairy, you want to get your shoulders down a little. Don't shrug them. And don't over arch your back, either.” I put my fingertips on her shoulders and gave a little push downward. She glared at me.

O. F.: “I'm here to teach you how to meditate, not get pointers on my yoga positions,” she said grumpily. “I read your last article. It sounded like you could use some help.”

Me: “Yeah, well, I'm doing okay now. I even had an appointment with a therapist. One session and I'm cured.”

O.F.: “From what I heard, your therapist was pregnant and went into labor early and had to cancel all her appointments.”

Me: “Uh huh, and I feel oh, so much better because I didn't have to see her.”

O.F.: “So, what's the plan from here? Did you reschedule?”

Me: “No, I didn't reschedule. You know Kaiser. The next available appointment would probably be sometime in 2020. I've got plans, though. I'm planning on doing at least some yoga everyday, taking long walks with my husband, slowing down a little, and finding every way I can to keep my balance, physically and emotionally, without any more medication.”

O.F.: “Wow. That's impressive. Do you think you can do it? After all, your typical way of keeping your balance seems to be to swing from one extreme to another.”

Me: “Yeah, well, part of that was the medications. That's exactly why I want to go a more wholistic route this time.”

O.F.: “I'll tell you what. You could use a coach and I could use a job. I could keep you on task and teach you how to relax, live in the present, that sort of thing.”

Me: “Hmm, I'll think about that. How would I pay you? And what happened to your other gig?”

O.F.: “Some people don't appreciate other opinions, that's all. As for my pay, for an old kindergarten teacher, you don't remember your fairy stories very well, do you. Leave some food out for me. I'm partial to sweets. Don't give me clothes, though, or I'm out of a job.”

Me: “Sweets. I think I can handle that. You're hired. Oh, and, if we're to be working together, I need to know your name. I don't want to have to call you Opinion Fairy or O.F. all the time.”

O.F.: “You can call me Mo.”

Me: “Mo? That's a funny name for a fairy. Is it short for something?”

The fairy mumbled something that I couldn't hear. I looked at her and raised my eyebrows. I haven't mastered the art of raising just one eyebrow yet, but I'm working on it.

O.F. (or Mo as I must now call her): “It's short for Marshmallow, okay? A 4-year-old named me. A little girl who was eating marshmallows with sticky fingers saw me wake up. She picked me up before I knew what was happening. She named me Marshmallow and it stuck.”

Me: “The name or the marshmallow?”

Mo: “Very funny. Uh.. both actually. It took weeks to get it all off. I am glad you're going to hire me because I've found some sweets you've been stashing away and decided to take my first paycheck in advance.”

She reached into a small bag and pulled out a candy.

Me: “Uh, Mo, I think you'd better be a little careful about those candies. They're not just ordinary sweets, you know. That's my medical marijuana candy. They aren't very strong, but then, you're not very big. Take it in tiny, tiny amounts and then wait. Otherwise you can get too much without knowing it.”

Mo: “What do you mean? They taste okay.”

Me: “How much have you had? You know, I hadn't noticed it before, but your wings are starting to droop.”

Mo: “Really?”

She stood up and quickly turned her head over her shoulder to look at her wings. Immediately she turned a particular shade of moss green and put her hands up to hold her head still.

Mo: “Ooh, I feel a little dizzy. I think I'd better lie down before I fly home.”

Me: "You'll stay here tonight, Mo.  Friends don't let friends fly when they're stoned."

I got out a shoebox and folded up one of my soft wool sweaters into a sleeping bag. Carefully, I lifted the little fairy into the box and covered her up snugly. I carried the box into the living room and put it next to our houseplants. I wanted Mo to feel at home. I went back to the kitchen and found a few dried cranberries, a date, and some sunflower seeds. I put them in a dish beside the box. I whispered “goodnight” to her but she was already asleep.

Mo will be fine. She'll sleep well tonight and wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and hungry. I'm looking forward to her help. Who knows? She might even learn a few things from me.